Future Paranoid Parent

Disclaimer: I am not pregnant.

Disclaimer #2: I watch a lot of SVU. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Am I the only person who finds naked baby pictures on Facebook (or the internet in general) to be completely disturbing? I know that there are tons of parents who think that somehow it's cute or appropriate to post pictures of your babies' junk all full frontal for the camera and all, but can we please just institute an embargo on trading your child's bag of tricks with the internet?

Lots of parents (I would argue that all parents) have cute pictures of naked babies playing in the bath tub or what not. Hell, my mom has plenty of them. IN A PHOTO ALBUM IN HER HOUSE. Not for every person in the world to see.

Sure, they're babies. The photos are innocent. You've got privacy settings on your Facebook. Yadda yadda yadda. But once those photos are out there, they're there forever. And the sexualization of children is very, very real.

Maybe I'm a total paranoid crazy for thinking this way, but it just freaks me out to no end. There are a lot of sick f*cks out there, and I personally wouldn't want there to be any chance that my sweet, innocent little baby is being used as spank-bank fodder for some sick bastard thousands of miles away (or hell, in your own back yard) all because I posted naked photos of him/her onto the vast expanse that is the internet.

Am I crazy?

Passive Pinner No More!

A few days ago, I was in the mood to bake something sweet and easy with ingredients I already had on hand. I didn't feel like cookies, I wasn't in the mood for brownies, and you know how I feel about cake (I hate cake). Then I remembered something I stumbled upon on Pinterest that was simultaneously delicious looking and idiot-proof-easy.

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It is essentially crescent rolls, cream cheese, cinnamon sugar, and a little bit of butter. I didn't follow the recipe exactly because I wanted to get all ambitious and throw some apples into the mix. I know, I know. Just call me Chef Tiffany.

Here's what you'll need:

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First, round up your ingredients. You can use any type of apple you want. I went with Honeycrisp because they're my favorite and we had them on hand. Also, I was clearly on my game this day because I forgot to put the butter and cream cheese in the photo. Step one fail. Don't be like me.

Peel your apples. It doesn't have to be perfect, as evidenced by moi. I used my handy dandy notebook apple slicer to slice and core my apples, which I then just roughly chopped. If you don't have a bazillion dollar high-tech appliance such as this, doing it the old fashioned way works too.

Place the apples in a pan with 1 tbsp each of sugar, water, and butter and a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg. Cook until the sugar starts to bubble and caramelize and your apples become slightly soft.

In a large bowl, add the softened cream cheese, 1/3 cup sugar, and vanilla extract. Beat until fully incorporated.

Combine your apple and cream cheese mixture and set aside. Now you can go ahead and spread one container of crescent rolls onto a greased 9" by 11" pan, gently pressing to fill any gaps. You don't want to roll out the dough too soon or else the crescent rolls will get warm sitting out and the butter will melt.

Cover the dough with your filling. Did you know they sell crescent dough in unscored sheets?! I had no idea. The scored sheets work just fine, but you can seek out the unscored dough if you want to get all fancy up in here.

Place the second container of crescent rolls on top of your filling and brush on your remaining (melted) butter.

When your pastry is sufficiently soaked in buttery deliciousness, combine 1/3 cup sugar, 3 tbsp cinnamon, and a pinch of nutmeg and sprinkle over the top.  Mmm, cinnamon sugar mountains.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes until the top is a crackly sugary golden brown masterpiece.

Serve and devour.

Enjoy!

What recipes have you tried from Pinterest?

Photo Challenge Wrap Up

Alternate Title: "Holy Crap, It's November!"

Day 25: Something Pink

My beloved pointe shoes and the legwarmers I recently bought. I had to have them. I'm desperately attempting to bring back the 80s in my ballet class. I also bought black stirrup tights. For real. I'm going to make it happen one was or another.

Day 26: Close-Up

Tee hee, it's Spade! I love this picture so much. He's such a little teddy bear.

Day 27: From A Distance

I took two photos because I couldn't decide which one I liked better. The palm tree photo is pretty, but it felt like a cop out because I photographed a palm tree for the Bokeh prompt. I took the photo of the exit sign that night at dinner, and I kinda love how it looks like something from a scary movie. So there you have it, two photos!

Day 28: Flowers

I didn't want to get all cutesy and obvious and just do a close up of a bouquet of flowers or anything, so I got in my car at night, turned on my brights (sorry neighbors) and took a photo of the flower bushes that surround our building. I love the reflection on the hood on my car.

Day 29: Black & White

These are a pair of wide cage fishnets that I bought at a sex shop. I wore them to work. I love that I can dress borderline slutty in my line of work. Really livens things up, ya know? My parents must be so proud.

Day 30: Self Portrait

'Twas the night before Christmas day before Halloween, so I went a little dramatic and bird-like for work. I took this photo in front of the window in our bathroom. I love how only half of my face is illuminated.

Day 31: Happy Halloween!

Okay, so this wasn't part of the Photo Challenge, but I mean, it's Halloween. I couldn't just neglect it like that. I was a Black Widow (the one who kills her husbands, not the spider), complete with long black lace veil. One of my favorite costumes to date. It's kind of fun to play evil for a day! And no worries, Mike survived unscathed.

So there you have it, the 30 Day Photo Challenge is complete!

Check out how everyone else completed the challenge here.