I didn't know the pitcher's mound was actually a mound. The more you know...
On Monday, Mike and I scored free tickets to the first baseball game of the season. I'd never been to a baseball game, but I was pretty excited about being so close! We were in the first section and I, unlike most baseball game attendees, was praying that a foul ball wouldn't come our way. Lucky for me, the baseball gods were on my side and I only had to fear for my life once. Success!
Sporty enough? I mean, it's leopard print and all, but it was still the team colors! I tried.
At this particular game, the Rays were up against the Yankees, and naturally, I was more concerned with what to wear. I don't follow baseball, so I expertly googled each team's colors. Lucky me, both teams were essentially navy blue and white, so no matter what I would look like I supported the winning team. Yay for not being a loser! Although truthfully, I had already decided I was on Team Yankees because well, New York > Tampa. My decision making is very scientifical, I know. Of course "my team" ended up losing, but whatever cause I was in Rays colors, too!
During the game, I enjoyed filling Mike in on which Yankees players have had sex with celebrities. I like to do my part, you know.
Exhibit A
Exhibit A done struck out! Twice! That's six strikes! How did he get this job again?
Exhibit A: Derek Jeter. First of all, I find Derek Jeter to be so unattractive. Like a tan mosquito. The whole time I was watching him, I was wondering how he has scored with so many gorgeous women. Then I remembered that he makes a boatload of cash. Mystery solved. Anywho, Derek was having an off day. He struck out twice during the game. It's okay though, because Derek Jeter has done the dirty with
Mariah Carey,
Tyra Banks,
Adriana Lima, and is currently
boning sleeping with actress
Minka Kelly on the regular. I'm just a wealth of knowledge, aren't I? So much more fun than baseball stats, am I right!?
Exhibit B
Now onto exhibit B: Alex Rodriguez. Cute, but not my type. He enjoys the blondes, so I'm not his type either. No harm, no foul A-Rod. He has bedded
Cameron Diaz (for whom I personally have a lady boner),
Kate Hudson, and
Madonna. I mean... his penis has touched
Madonna. Which means I
almost met Madonna via Alex Rodriguez's penis. Let that sentence sink in for a moment. Magical. I felt like I was surrounded by a cloud of famous herpes.It was so exciting, I almost wanted to catch it.
Almost.
And lastly, for our final dose of celebrity, we stumbled upon this mural of Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe on our way out of the stadium. Clearly my priorities for this outting were in the right place and fun was had by all. I got to dish to the husband about celebrity trash, and he got a sports outting. Win-win!
