One thing that wasn't such a small glitch? *Sigh* My mother-in-law. First and foremost, I want to say that I thought a very long time about whether I was going to write this post or not. I didn't want to write it while I was still angry (well, okay, I'm still angry, but no longer infuriated), offended, and hurt (mostly for my husband's sake). I want to make sure that this doesn't come off as a rant, because it's not. You've been with me through all the ups and downs of our wedding planning process, from getting rid of our bridal party to our postponement. From guest list issues, to copious family drama, and finally to the full-blown cancellation and I think it's only fair that I continue on with full-disclosure, so here goes.
My first inkling of something being wrong with my MIL on our wedding day was when we were taking family photos- she practically grimaced the entire time. Our photographer actually had to coax her to smile for at least a few pictures. Did it make me angry? Sure, we weren't paying good money for our wonderful, talented photographer to take pictures of someone scowling. But mostly, it made me upset that she couldn't put her issues aside for her oldest son's wedding day. I wish it stopped there, but it doesn't.
I later found out that while our dogs were being walked down the aisle, she not only complained about them being there, but she actually tried to kick them... twice. She tried to kick our dogs on our wedding day. And, unfortunately, it's captured for all of posterity on our wedding video.*sigh*
Finally, to add insult to injury, I leave you with our wedding gift:
But still, with all this, I can say our wedding day was perfect because I didn't let her bring me down.
So here is my little nugget of advice (and no, I won't give you tips on how to find your perfect mate, considering you're probably engaged, or ahem, married already): Do not, under any circumstance, let the negativity get under your skin on your wedding day. Whether it is from your family or his family, just ignore it and let it roll off your back. Bathe in your bliss. Let that be your safe place when other people are making fools of themselves. It is their misery to bear, not yours. You are happy, and in love, and marrying the man of your dreams, and don't let anyone tarnish that happiness that you feel on your wedding day, because you only get it once.
The End.
Do you have difficult family members to deal with? Did they show their displeasure on your wedding day? How did you deal?
2 comments:
Oh man, oh man. I'm so sorry she acted that way. Horrible! But I'm proud of you for keeping on with the happiness and not letting the grump throw you off.
My wedding, well, I would love to say that our day was wonderful---but I was pretty disappointed. Except for the ceremony (which was beautiful) it seemed like I was pulling people's teeth to be there. My entrance with my father to walk down the aisle was ruined by the venue coordinator and when my husband and I went to walk back down the aisle for the recessional--yeah, she screwed that up too...ugh.
But on that day I didn't shed a single sad tear. I refused to. I was fuming at various times, but I kept it inside so it didn't show to everyone attending the wedding.
And while I know my parents and his parents love that we are together, not a single person stood to give a speech or congratulate us at the reception. Makes me sad just thinking about it.
Thank you so much for writing this. My potential MIL has a huge issue with my race (I'm Caucasian) and she has decided she'd rather stand her ground about how 'wrong' I am for her son than try to get to know me for my character and values. My b/f have talked about marriage extensively but are both cautious about how our potential life together will be affected by her constant attacks and negativity. It is tremendously difficult and we're doing all that we can think of to create a mutually neutral atmostphere, but as you say, at some point you have to let that negativity roll off your back.
All the best to you and your new hubby!
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