The #reverb10 prompt for today:
December 10 – Wisdom
Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
Hmm, I think I've made quite a few wise decisions this year. Choosing to go back to school was a big one. Making a point to focus more on what makes me truly happy. Doing something I've always wanted to do by taking ballet classes. The wisest decision I made this year, however, was canceling our wedding.
It took a lot of guts, and it cost us quite a bit of lost money in deposits, but it was totally worth it, for a variety of reasons.
First, planning a "big wedding" was just so stressful. I had so many family members breathing down my neck about this or that. I have a cousin-in-law who volunteered her daughter to be our flowergirl. Who does that? Not to mention, we didn't want kids at the wedding. I have another family member who kept e-mailing me about dates that she was and wasn't available. Whose wedding is this, anyway? Plus, I wasn't even sure about inviting her in the first place! And then another family member had the nerve to actually call Mike and complain to him about her and her kids not being invited to the wedding!!! She proceeded to tell him that if it was a "money issue" she'd be willing to pay for her and her kids to be there. WTF. Maybe we just didn't want them there, ever thought about that?! Oh god, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it.
I let myself get steam-rolled by the wedding train for months. I took shit from so many people, and then I'd come home, sit down, and stress out trying to figure out how Mike and I could have our wedding without offending anyone else. Looking back on it, those people were assholes. Sorry, offending family members, but it's true. Those are all asshole things to do to a bride who is already stressed out about planning a wedding. Don't worry about all the other tasks that I have to deal with. Or all the vendors I have to coordinate. Sure I'll add "pleasing you" to my to do list for today, no problem.
Some where in between wedding planning misery and my head exploding, Mike and I went to a wedding. There was a room full of people. The music began to play, the bridesmaids walked down the aisle, then the beautiful bride made her appearance. And I. Felt. Nothing. I felt no longing for that moment, no excitement for that to be me walking down the aisle in a few short months. The only thing I felt was a wave of nausea.
In that moment I realized, that's not what I wanted. I didn't want to get married in front of a room full of people that I had to bend over backwards to please. I'm not a people pleaser, and I sure as hell wasn't going to start on our wedding day. I didn't want the big, gorgeously decorated, extravagant wedding. I didn't want it to feel so staged.
So I said, f*ck it. We cancelled our wedding, lost a few thousand dollars, but I gained my sanity back. I kid you not, I woke up the next day feeling like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my chest. I was free. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, and make my own decisions without people dictating to me how things should or shouldn't be. It was the best decision I've made all year.
What wise decisions have you made this year?