Have you ever gotten a really, intensely horrible gift? Well, feel better, because chances are, the bad gifts you've recieved probably have nothing on the ones I'm about to tell you about.
Before I get into the specific stories, you're probably wondering why I'm talking about bad gifts. Well, my birthday is right around the corner, and it's the first year that Mike is picking out my gift, unassisted. Up until now, for birthdays and Christmas we just tell each other what we want, and that's what we get. However, I figured I'd give this whole "surprise" thing a shot.
If nothing else, it can't be any worse than these:
A friend of mine recently told me about the first birthday gift that her husband ever got her. Keep in mind, said friend is not religious at all. Granted, they hadn't been dating for a really long time, so she wasn't expecting anything fancy. However, they had been dating long enough to know one and other pretty well. so what does he get her? Wait for it...
A freakin' costco-sized jar of cheese puffs and a Bible. Did you hear me? Cheese puffs and a Bible! No, I'm not kidding. I almost spit my soup all over her when she told me, but instead I choked on a piece of bread. It's seriously one of the funniest stories I've ever heard. Still wondering how he got her to stick around after that!
Next up, Mike and I went to a family member's house to celebrate Christmas. Just so you know, this specific person has a strong affinity for gifting random garage sale finds. While it's not exactly my style, hey, to each his own. That was, until this particular gift...
Last year, as we were sitting around the table opening our gifts, one person recieved a bottle of coconut rum in an actual coconut shell. Hey, that's cool, it's alcohol. But as he removed the wax seal, put the coconut shell to his lips and tilted it.... nothing came out. It was empty! Someone else had put that thing on their lips, drunk the rum, resealed it with candle wax, then sold it at their garage sale! And now it was also on the gift recipient's lips! Ew ew ewww! Can you imagine swapping saliva with a complete stranger?! Needless to say, I was mortified.
Have you ever gotten (or been witness to) an unbelievably horrible gift? Do tell!
3 comments:
In college, I dated a guy that completely forgot my birthday and when he realized it a week later, he bought me a carton of cigarettes. Then for the one and only dance we went to right before I dumped his sorry butt, instead of giving me a flower like everyone else's dates got, he took a rose stem that fell out of a friend's bouquet, stapled it to a piece of paper, and drew a rose on it in pen. Asshole.
OMG! I can't even believe that someone would do that!!! What the hell is wrong with some people?! A carton of cigarettes sure is a classy birthday gift, lol! Glad you dumped him!
Oh my...I have one!
In college, I had been dating a new guy for about 3-4 months or so when my bday rolled around. We were at home for the summer, so I waited impatiently for a package to arrive at my house. Finally, a large padded envelope came in the mail. I tore it open to find a card...and a child's coloring book. The card said something along the lines of: "you were really hard to buy for." Um....still confused about that one. How about send some flowers to my house? Buy me a dvd? Heck...anything would have been better than a coloring book!!!!
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