The Shape of a Mother...

absolutely terrifies me.

If you don't already know, The Shape of a Mother is a website for new moms to tell their stories and, more often than not, share pictures to help one and other to embrace their new post-baby bodies. Now, don't get me wrong, the concept is amazing. As women, our bodies are capable of things that a man could never even fathom, and we should all be proud of that.

But I'm going to be honest there, those pictures scare the living shit out of me. Especially the before and afters. My body is no where near perfect, so if some woman with a perfect little dancer's body can be virtually unrecognizable post-baby, wtf is going to happen to me?! *shivers*

I know everyone says it's worth it, but I can't imagine the psychological damage it plays on a womans mind. Sure, you have this amazing, living, breathing baby that you created, but I can't imagine what it's like to look in the mirror and suddenly see someone else. After reading so many stories on there about women who hate themselves after having a baby, who don't want to have sex, who feel miserable and ugly, I don't know if my psyche can handle how my body might look after having a child.

I started researching how a woman's body changes after childbirth because I noticed myself getting random bouts of baby fever and I like to be informed. At first I just figured I'd go the c-section route (I would rather not blow out my v-jay, heard one too many horror stories about tearing and randomly pissing yourself and "new landscapes"). Then I figured I'd go the c-section and tummy tuck route. But no, after finding this website, I realized that a tummy tuck isnt a cure all- what about your boobs? What about stretch marks? If they're infact hereditary, then my pregnant belly would never again see the light of day. Ever. No amount of nipping and tucking will get rid of stretch marks. Good lord, it's a lot to think about.

In a way, these websites are great. They offer support to new moms who maybe wouldn't get that same support and understanding elsewhere. But for those of us who are pre-baby, it's just f*cking terrifying. The first time I stumbled upon TSoaM, I sat at my computer screen, looking through before and after photos and crying. It shook me to my core.

After that, I immediately started researching surrogacy. Seriously.

So pre- and post-baby ladies, have you seen TSoaM? How does it make you feel?

*If you want to see photos, please check out The Shape of a Mother. I didn't want to post the particular pictures that "scared" me, out of respect for the brave mommies that shared their photos.